Tragedy of the world

Okay I'm back and I'm fully relieved thanks to yesterday post that talked about my feeling for the girl that I've liked back at college,and I'm sorry for that and I promised you it will not happen again... Well not exactly "Never" but I'm gonna post that kind of stuff only when I'm feeling down or sad at that time. So today I just read some comic book that talked about war,and to tell you the truth it is talking about World War II. I'm not badmouthing the Allies or the Japan Army itself,but what I liked to talk about is the Kamikaze Unit. In this comic book that I've just read.the story tells about a girl who engaged with someone from the Japanese Air Force and her fiance died in the battlefield,and he only left a letter for her that mentioning about her happiness.

I don't want to blame about the Allies of the Japanese Army,what I'd like to talked about is that war always leave scars and pain in our heart. And how it affect people the soldier loves and cherish in their lives. When the Kamikaze Unit bombarded the Pearl Harbor,a lot of sacrifices were made from both sides. The soldiers left everyone their loved forever,and when the Atomic Bomb were dropped it came with a huge sacrifice too. A lot of civilians were died at that moment,the survivors live with a huge scars and a lot of radioactive signs in their body. I tell you guys though,it is hard for me to write this post because humanity were broke at that time. I hope this kind of tragedy will never happen again,and the comic that I've read is based on reality. Thanks to Seo Kouji for the comic,it moves my heart to made this post.

I'm finally relieved

I'm sorry for that kind of post,but I seriously need to let those regrets from my feelings. After all my stupid decision is the one who brings me into the depth of regret of my life,and after all even she knows about my feelings for her. But she decided to choose my best friend because she said she loves a person who give the best feelings for her,and then their relationships ended and she came to me while cried and told me she feel bad for leaving me. But that was the time that I'm already decide not to fall in love again for the wrong person,she apologized to me and I replied it was over. For her and for me,and I becoming more rude since that time. Because every time she came to meet me at my workplace I just ignored her. That's the time I feel so bad because I made the woman that I loved cried,but I'm not blaming myself because she's the one who left me first.

At that moment I finally realized what everybody needs to be inside a complete adulthood is the moment when your hearts been tore into pieces by the one that you loved,and when she knows the reason for me to leave her she finally leaves me.

By Your Side

Whenever I think about it,I always stay in the decision to not having any relationship. I guess I'm already finally realized that I don't want to be hurt,by my own feelings and by the girl that I liked. Maybe that's why I always run away from that kind of conversation I had with my friends,I always wanted to feel those feelings that I forgot. Even though sometimes I wanna know why I let you slide away,but I hope one day I'm gonna realize before it's too late. Because when I think of you,and the way I looked at you. I can't stop thinking about our days together,and the time we first met. The only think that I really regret is when I don't fight for my own feelings and only wishing you happiness when you're together with my own best friends. Since that time I always change my view in how I looked at you,can't stop blaming myself for the foolishness that I've done. Even if I can start again will I make the same mistakes? Or will it still end the way it ended before. But in the end,all I wanted is for you to understand my feelings for you and how much I love you. Even when I made this post,my feelings for you will never change.

I've finally found it

After feeling lost for 3 years in search of a good Indonesian Band,I've finally found this two band called Efek Rumah Kaca and Barasuara. Most of their music tells about everything that happen in life,like romance,the hard times you need to get through. So,if you interested in this kind of song i recommend you to watch their videos in YouTube and I'll leave the link to their videos in the end of this post. You maybe think "But dude,you a little bit exaggerating about finding those kind of song in 3 years". I have to tell you guys,I'm not exaggerating at all. Indonesian song in these past years mostly talked about relationships,girlfriends,and how sad it is to dealt with breakup. Well no shit I've been gone past through that kind of stuff and I don't care about being in a relationship,the thing that I cared about is how to made a meaningful lyrics and to make my dreams came true as a Musician and as a Writer. I've found my calling in life this time,I wanted to share about all of the things that happen in the form of music and in writing so I can at least helps people to gone through their hard times.

I know it might be hard to do,but like John Lennon said in his song called Imagine. "You may say I'm a dreamer,but I'm not the only one". And I think this is the right time to start doing it. Well this is it for today post,and the link to the collaboration of Efek Rumah Kaca and Barasuara is this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrhbGN-MwC8. Thank you guys for reading this and stay tune for the next post

Japanese Poetry

I always thinking about how to made a lyrics from a poem,so i try to look for some inspiration from Japanese Poetry. And one of the poem that i've found is a poem by Ono no Komachi,one of the six best waka poets of the early Heian Period. She was renowned for her unusual beauty and it said that she's one of the beautiful girl in the world,the other was Cleopatra from Egypt and Yang Guifei from China. When i looked up about her poems in http://www.wakapoetry.net/ i found that most of her poems is about a guy called Fukakusa no Shosho,if he can visited her for a 100 day then she gonna accept his proposal for her. Unfortunately he died in the 99th day,when she finds out about him she feels a deep sadness and made the poems for Fukakusa no Shosho.


So i try to thinking about what if i'm the one in Fukakusa no Shosho and Ono no Komachi postion and made in into the lyrics,and what i've learned from that is IT'S MAKE MY HEART BREAKS AF. Even though i've been faced with the facts about my girlfriend passed away,but this is too much for me to handle damn it. Maybe i can used it as the inspiration for my lyrics and i hoped it can be used for my songs,when this post finished and posted i'm gonna look for Ono no Komachi poems and used it. Even if it makes me shed a tear lol,so what do you guys think about poetry that makes you cry? Please tell me in the comment section below.

My thoughts about Logan Paul vlog

Okay,it's a very nice way to comeback to this blog after 4 days already passed in 2018. So as you guys know there's a YouTuber called Logan Paul who've made some controversy because his latest post that already deleted that says he found a dead body in japan suicide forest,and the video is about when he was in Japan with his friends and went to a forest called Aokigahara at the foot of Mt. Fuji itself. I know the video itself is already deleted but i'm already saving this post and just saved it in my draft because my internet went down 2 days before. The video starts with him and his friends went to the forest to having some so-called spooky experience or shit and saying they wanted to set a camp there to met the ghost,and when they started to went into the forest Logan said that he saw a dead body hanging from a tree.

And this is where the "fun" started as he told the security guy with him to called a cop,that's a good start thank you very much. But after he told the security to called a cop,he approach the dead body and recording it. After that shit happens,he and his so-called friends starts becoming a loud obnoxious group when they saw it. But what i really hate about in that video,it's about the girl that with them who smiling when they found it,even when she said to Logan that they found a dead body she still smiling. Okay I don't know whether she's scared as fuck or just want to cope it so the situation over there wouldn't be so scary and shit. This controversy made a lot of YouTuber made a video about what Logan's doing in the Aokigahara forest is rude and very disrespectful to the dead.

Even though i'm not a Japanese or a people who lived in Japan,but in Indonesia we learned to having respect to anybody. Whether it's a living person or a person who recently just passed away,in Indonesia if you accidentally stepped on a grave then you will be known as a disrespectful person. But what Logan did he exposed it to the internet,even though he blurred it out. That's not cool man,imagine if you or your family died and i came to you and recording it. Fuck you man